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Posts Tagged ‘Cancer’

8weekmercena

(Why am I naming days?)

I’m writing these posts in bed after being incapacitated by the worst back injury of my life yesterday, so please be patient as my pain-addled mind moves through the last few days.

10/9/14, Day 14,037 (Mercena Day 55): Into the Weeds

This was the day I began to feel truly in the weeds with the combined workload of TCG, Flux, NET, my own creative work and Mercena. I don’t remember much else about this day–it’s one reason why I try (though lately fail) to update this daily, because memory makes such quick hash of days once they’re done–but I do remember a breakthrough meeting for TCG’s Fall Forum and the launch of a new trustee initiative, and our now nightly routine of putting Mercena to bed: we change her into her sleeping outfit, read her Goodnight Moon, sing her Turalura and then lay her gently into her bassinet, wishing her sweet dreams. She’s begun to recognize the routine, but depending on how tired she is, she’ll either great it with delight (rare) or fussy resistance (common, but is usually doesn’t last long).

Most promising of all: she’s really begin sleeping five-ish hours a night consistently. Sleeping through the night, here we come (he says with great caution and humility).

10/10/14, Day 14,038 (Mercena Day 56): Mercena EightWeeks; or, What Thursday and Friday Mean to Me Now

Every Thursday since Mercena was born, I think: this is the day we went into labor; every Friday I think, this is the day she was born. We are such pattern hungry creatures and I am more pattern hungry than most. But, it does mirror how my weeks at TCG often feel: by Thursday, the amount of labor seems insurmountable, but by the end of Friday, something new has been moved forward.

So it was with this last Friday, where I put my head down and managed to knock out a bunch of significant projects on my TCG desk. I’d been hoping over this long weekend to polish off the rest, but losing a whole day to my back injury yesterday has me worried I’ll be back into the weeds come Tuesday…

10/11/14, Day 14,039 (Mercena Day 57): FluxForward Close To Boil

Chinaza and I have been working on a anew initiative for Flux that I’m really excited about, and this past Saturday, I spent four+ hours moving it significantly forward. I also sent some love to Allan and Sarah on their anniversary, and went for a beautiful walk with Mercena and Heather. Forest Hills is really beautiful, and we discovered a few areas on our last walk that felt almost European. And as for our daughter, she is becoming more and more a unique human with a personality that is utterly her own. I really do love her more and more every day…

10/12/14, Day 14,040 (Mercena Day 58): Back Brings Me To My Knees

As I was lifting Mercena out of her bouncy seat to ready her of her Ergo walk, pain like I’ve never felt shot through my lower back, and I was barely able to get her on to the changing table before collapsing to my knees. I took me a long time to stand up, so thankfully she was a in a good mood and chirping away on the table as struggled to my feet. Heather was away at a production meeting, and so I needed to swaddle her and put her to sleep somehow before collapsing entirely.

I managed to do it, but not much else. I’ve had back pain before, but nothing like this. Yesterday, I could not find a position that wasn’t significantly painful, even after some pain medication, and I barely slept at all last night. Heather took good care of me, and I distracted myself as best I could.

I’m feeling a little better today–good enough to write this post, at least. I’m trying not to freak out about how much of a setback this injury could be on all things I need to move forward. One painful step at a time.

Technique never stands still: it only advances or retreats…

Writing: 161 out of 208 days (New untitled time play)
Spanish: 134 out of 208 days
Music: 63 out of 114 days

What small things did I do the past four days to help build the Honeycomb?
(And what does it mean to “Help build the honeycomb?”)

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